I couldn’t figure it out before; the thing that was lacking. Why Jo* only gives me a friend-vibe, rather than a more-than-friend vibe. The distinction is so pure, allusive, and intangible. One day you think maybe, possibly, it might be there, and then the next: No; I can’t; definitely not. What is that difference? A small switch that turns on an illuminating chandelier on the dim indecisive spot of the mind.
Last week, I went out with Damon. I had a good time, but I haven’t heard from him so I’m pretty sure the feeling is not mutual. Nevertheless, I’m glad I went out with him. When we kissed I felt that wrestling, pop-rocks-in-your-stomach, sort of excitement. I haven’t felt that feeling in…a little over a year, and I had no idea. Even though I think Damon could have been something, there’s nothing I can do if he doesn’t feel the same way, but at least I remembered that when I am with the right person, my mind and body will align, and I don’t have to negotiate.
Love Labor's Lost 