Love Labor's Lost

volumes of mis-adventures

“No String Attached,” part I

Happy Birthday, Geoff*!

Haha, thanks.  As Geoff and I exchange hugs I look down the row of guys following in his wake.

I don’t know you…don’t know you, nope, Oh, Hey Kevin! I know you! I give Kevin a hug.

We all file into The Leg Room, a downtown establishment on Division. I’m overcome with smoke, fog, green and red lasers (strange, I didn’t think it was Christmas season anymore) and a claustrophobic bar, filled with too many middle aged men looking for some young thangs, but, for my great friend Geoff, I was willing to endure a crazy Chicago bar in the “Viagra triangle.”

Geoff was turning 25 and convinced a small group of his AEPi college buddies to come out with him after the Bulls game. 3 guys—Jason*, Jacob*, Kevin* and myself, grabbed beers at the bar and cheers-ed to a good man. I introduced myself to Jason, a studly man about 5”9’ with blue eyes, messy dark blond hair, and a scruffy, yet sexy, 5 o’clock shadow, giving him a brooding look I absolutely can’t deny. He’s definitely a looker, he’s definitely a brain, and he definitely knows it. Conclusion Jason=Playa. The night was shaping up to be an impromptu high school reunion, as an old high school friend was having a gathering at this same “hopping” location to celebrate his recent return from teaching English in Korea. While chatting with people I hadn’t seen in years, cue Chad.

Chad walks in and I notice: his reddish-brown beard, his yamaka, and a personality that demanded attention, compensating for his short 5”3’ stature. Chad had a perfect smile, stories that filled our circle with laughter, and anecdotes I couldn’t get enough of. It would be an understatement to say that this kid had a charismatic and attention grabbing personality. He is definitely the type of guy you want to hang around for a good time. I had a wonderful night mostly listening to Chad, although I had been eyeing Jason the entire time. At the end of the night, I offered to drive the birthday boy home, and as we turned to leave: “Give me your number.” Times two, BAM. Winner.

Both Chad and Jason asked for my number. Why Chad asked, I was unclear considering he has a girlfriend with whom he was doing the long distance thing (he mentioned her 3 or 4 times throughout the night), but Jason asked for my number, so I left with a smile (even though I know he’s never going to use it, the playa just gonna play.)

*Fast forward*  Geoff vomits 2 lungs out of my car window. I feel disgusted and pray to the heavens he didn’t get any in my car.

Chad texts: What you up to homie?

*Fast forward* I drop Geoff off at his apartment.

C: Would you wanna chill tonight? I promise not to vomit everywhere.

Me: : I would, but your girlfriend situation makes you a no go.

C: Well look, I’m honest. I told you what’s up. I know it’s weird but we barely see each other and we’re practical. She’s allowed to go to another guy as long as I don’t hear about it also. We don’t have to do anything at all, if you’re not ready to leave the city and want some company, I’m not far. Btw, I have chocolate and oranges.

*Fast Forward*

C: I’m not looking to just hook up. You’d be a serious booty call at least. Very likely you’d be wined and dined. I’d also call you to say goodnight. In all honesty, I don’t wanna have sex, because it’s still a little weird for me. I just don’t like sleeping alone.

*Fast Forward*

C: There’s a good chance I’ll be the man you’ve always wanted. I’ll always respect and listen to you. In the end however, I will not end up with you.

*Fast Forward*

C: Finally, you should know I’m digging you hard. You make me happy and fill a void in my chest. No matter how I treat you, you should know how much I like you.  

All in less than 24 hours, I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

What would you do?

*names changed.


%d bloggers like this: