Love Labor's Lost

volumes of mis-adventures

Single, white-girl problems.

on December 18, 2011

Can you break up with someone you were never dating? I think I just did.

I have *the best* track record with guys. Really, I do. My latest dating endeavor involves a guy who is a pathological liar. They’re actually all quite funny, by which I mean, the lies are funny, not so much the person.  My favorite is the time he said he wanted to run a race with me, and went as far as to say he was picking up his packet the day before race day. I tried to find his name with the people at registration and they said they had no such name in their registry. I had to hand it to him, he committed to the charade whole heartedly. I even asked him after the race, trying to be smug and hoping for a funny reveal all type situation. Alas, once I ran my first half marathon, and didn’t see him there, obviously because he NEVER signed up for the race, I ask him how it went for him, and he said, “great!” A little strange, in my opinion, to lie about something so inconsequential. I swear I don’t judge people on whether or not they run, and I certainly don’t decide that my dating life would be better off if I only dated people who lived their lives just like mine. So why he felt he needed to “register” for the race, and keep up with the lie will forever baffle my wits. 

This same winner blew me off twice before we actually went on our first date. The first time being my actual birthday. Why would a person ask you out, after meeting you at a party and then NOT show up. It wasn’t a blind date you were reluctantly set up on, or a situation where I asked him out and he didn’t want to confront me. I’m talking, boy asks girl out, boy stands girl up, TWICE. Now, you all might be thinking, “Girl, what’s wrong with you, don’t you have any self respect? Boy stands you up, twice? (let alone, once) you move on and forget about him.” Well, my only response to that is, if I had any idea what was right about dating, I probably would have actually had a relationship stick by now. The most annoying part of this whole saga is that I met him exactly 3 months ago (Sept 18th, my birthday) and in that time he’s lied on the same level as that race registration situation about 3 other times, he’s stood me up or blown me off at least 5 other times, and overall, disappointed me more times than I can count. It’s almost become a game with me. *What do we have behind door number one? Will the boy show? Will he lie? Let’s spin that wheel and find out!*

So, what has kept me around for 3 WHOLE months? He’s fun, lets me relax and de-stress. He’s a meat and potatoes type of guy; simple, not a real thinker. Sometimes that’s exactly what I need. Someone who lets me slip away from my worries, takes me out to a club and dances. He doesn’t ask me about school, my work, or thesis. That might seem like the opposite of what I would want (and I think for a real relationship that’s supposed to stick, you’re right), but with the amount of pressure I put on myself, at this juncture in my life, escapism is what I search for more than anything else.

Well, obviously something changed, because I’m writing this entry. On Thursday, boy called me, after ditching me somewhere the previous Sunday and not speaking to me all week. Thursday he calls, “Hey Beau! How are you?!” Beau?, really? I thought. Beau-calling-boy asked if I would come out with him that night. I said sure, why not, I had work until 8pm, but if he called me around then and let me know the details I would gladly meet up with him. Surprise, surprise, boy didn’t call. He didn’t text. And this girl, couldn’t sleep. I woke up on Friday for work, thinking, screw this, I have to stop letting him treat me like I’ll be there when he needs me, and I definitely have to stop being a pushover. I kept my cool; no calls, texts, or confrontations, just yet. Saturday evening, I finally texted him, “Hey, what’s up? What happened Thursday?” No response. I kept my cool…for a little bit. Psycho bitch was beginning to surface. I finally sent this wonderful gem:

“Did you need to wash your cat? Sync your Ipod? Pick up a carburetor? So many great excuses, might as well pick one.  I’m over it.”

Not my finest hour, but really, what’s a girl to do, pent up aggression is no good for anyone. He responded with “"What are you even talking about” and then today, I received this tidbit of insight: “Hey, What’s up? Look, I’m sorry about this weekend I had a lot going on I went to take a friend to visit our friend in jail.” WHAT?!?!? You’re kidding right? I’m supposed to believe that, I mean I have to, don’t I?  Who lies about jail visitation?! He follows up with a “I’m sorry for being shitty. I will make it up to you.” If I were a real pushover I would have said ok, but how many times can someone “make it up to you.” The following response was, in my mind, as close to a break-up situation as I’ve been in. So, I guess I can check that off of my maturation list of experiences in the dating world. Here’s my brilliant response, “Sorry, but I don’t really believe you. I wish I did, but this isn’t the first time I’ve been disappointed by you and upset, and I just think maybe you have too much going on, and since I don’t know what’s up, I never know if you’re lying or not.” To me, that sounded a lot like a variation of, “it’s not you it’s me,” when I really meant to say you’re a d-bag. And, I think that that message made me sound more ridiculous and melodramatic than I am. ever. But, what’s done is done, and I doubt this boy will ever speak to me again.

Awkward will be the day that we run into each other at a mutual party because we do, in fact, run in the same circle of friends on occasion. Winter drama right before new years? Check. The New Year can now commence, on a clean slate of yet another year of single Lilly*, take 24. Happy Holidays y’all!

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