Love Labor's Lost

volumes of mis-adventures

Want to Fluff?

on November 2, 2011

“Hey, want to fluff?”—text received 11/1/11 at 9:13P.M. message completely unknown.

I have googled these 3 words with great results such as: “Bladder issues…they want to “fluff” my bladder,” and “OCD: Obsessive Corgi Disorder, omg. I just want to fluff peanut up…”

My next course of action in deciphering this text was to ask my more informed friends. Overwhelming responses said, “WTF, I have no idea,” a few responded with, “from a guy? seems like an idiot.” and 2 gracious friends pointed me in the unfortunate direction of Urban Dictionary.com. Now, Urban Dictionary has always been helpful to me because I’m not usually “hip” to the slang of the 21st century; I’m definitely in many respects akin to the parental generation, but maybe a smidge more tech savvy. Today’s youth, sheesh, the things they say, they should gurgle with soap. These 2 lovely friends said, well, maybe it has to do with a “fluffer.” Do you know what a “fluffer” is? “No,” you say? Well, neither did I. Now, I do. I wish I didn’t. I won’t actually try and explain that here, but if you click here, you’ll find a definition there.

Now, want to fluff may mean something completely different, all I know is, whatever it is I won’t fluff, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Unless maybe it’s a pillow? Happy November, friends! I hope this isn’t this guy’s idea of wooing me, because please, woo no further. woot.

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