Love Labor's Lost

volumes of mis-adventures

Dating Anew

on January 6, 2011

How long do you have to know someone before setting them up with a friend, or let’s say your roommate? Apparently, not long…

In the fall after moving to San Francisco, I started working at the Tutoring Club as a tutor. There are about 5 tutors working every night and we know each other on a somewhat exclusively professional level, rather than a personal one. Around finals of my first semester of grad school, let’s call him Leonard, one of the other tutors, asked if I wanted to grab drinks to celebrate my completion. Come Tuesday night of finals week, after work, we were seemingly walking on eggshells around each other, putting away materials, lagging in our exits, in order to coordinate our movement toward the door simultaneously. As I was putting on my jacket ever so slowly, waiting, questioning, and doubting that he even remembered that we were going to grab drinks, he casually said, “Hey, yea about those drinks, something came up with a friend, totally sorry, it’s been a standing thing and I just forgot.” “No worries” I responded as coolly and calmly as possible. “Rain check?” he said slyly. “Of course, not to worry,” I responded. A bit disappointed, but honestly understanding. I presumed that as I have done on many occasions before, maybe he just meant for two friends to grabs drinks, as I was new to the city, and he was a kind, 28 year old law school graduate, and a veteran of SF. I went on winter break, and a break I took from everything San Francisco.

Fast forward to two weeks after break. On Saturday after work, Leonard surprisingly, asked if I wanted to grab lunch. Although completely sporadic, I can’t say that I wasn’t overjoyed. What 22 year old didn’t want to date a law man, especially one with o, so dreamy, blue eyes. We went to Arizmendi, a bakery in the Inner Sunset, if you ever make it to the west coast, by all means stop by: Best. Food. Ever. The bakery was super crowded so we took the food to go, and we walked to his apartment. Low and behold, his roommate, whose name I can’t remember, honestly, this sounds awful, but really for the life of me, I can’t remember his name, was standing at the door. “Way to meet us at the bakery,” Leonard scolded. “I was just about to leave,” responded his roommate. “Right, well it was crazy crowded so we brought the food back,” said Leonard. We sat in a filthy cramped living room, with stacks of video games, and trash all over. Among all the debris, an ashtray of blunts, which had not been emptied in way too long, seemed to be at the focal point of the room. As I sat there in a mary-janed perfumed apartment, partly confused, mostly disgusted, and slightly uncomfortable, we started to eat…in complete silence. So, I perked up and said, “so, how do you two know each other?” “We went to high school together,” responded Leonard. “Wow, high school,” I said, “that’s such a long time.” We made incredibly unfortunate, and altogether a sad excuse for what was to resemble small talk, until Leonard finished his pizza got up and went to the kitchen and DIDN’T come back. He seemed to be washing month old dishes for nearly 45 minutes, leaving his roommate and I to awkwardly chat about our lives. The time passed like a horrible forced therapy session. I swear I could hear the digital numbers on my phone change. Then Leonard seemed to vanish into his room and after what could have been a hiatus to another planet, he surfaced with bed sheets and his comforter to do what seemed to be laundry. He rushed out the door with all his linens, leaving his roommate and I, in a state of non-conversation, to my dismay. Once he came back he finally sat down and didn’t really add anything to the conversation, so I took out my phone and quickly said, “ So, I should get going, I have some work to get done before dinner.” Leonard finally decided to chime in with, “be a gentleman, and give her a ride home.” “um, well where do you live,” responded his roommate. “Basically by S.F. State,” I responded. “Yea, sure I can drive you home.” “Ok, thanks!” I hugged Leonard good-bye, completely confused as to what this lunch really meant. As we, the unnamed roommate and I, sat in the car, I was preoccupied with thinking about what could have been going on in Leonard’s mind. As we approached my apartment, I thanked him, the unknown bearded soul, for his hospitality and taking me all the way home.

Leonard set me up with his roommate of all people, he barely new me and he set me up with his roommate? Wait, no, he set me up without asking me if I wanted to be set up with his roommate. Does my face scream of desperation? Clearly. If my dating life couldn’t get any weirder, now strangers were setting me up.

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